Memorial Day, such memories

Its been a very exciting day here in Castle Meeshka!

The human woman finally stopped horka'ing in the porcelain bowl and after laying in bed for about 24 hours, she got up. We didn't mind her laying around all day and all night as the human man fed us, and he always gets the amount wrong. Not only that, but they had leftover bland rice that the human woman didn't eat, so we got a late night snack of that in our bowls mixed with a bit of tasty water.

Oh, I forgot to mention (because its so horrible) but the human woman did get up once last night. Apparently she wasn't too keen about my clawing her bloody when the stupid humans down the street starting setting off firecrackers (I didn't realize that Memorial day was a day for setting off firecrackers, but apparently the idiots that live down the street think that payday is a reason to set off firecrackers). I had to wear the t-shirt, and to show my displeasure, I totally mangled Bionic hip spineless Sam's cushy pillow. I'm guessing there is another reason why my delicate little feety nails will be clipped on thursday when my teeth are getting cleaned.

So, human woman gets up this morning and like a busy little bee, she hovers around the coffee pot until it was done brewing (having learned her lesson from that little incident where she stuck her face under the spout), and stood there leaning until the first two cups were done, then she went outside without us.

We always enjoy it when she does that. Usually it means that she's cutting the grass so that it doesn't tickle our delicate po-pos, but this time not only did she do that, but she also gave us something new to play in. Apparently its called "Quikrete" and it now covers the holes in the concrete that the deck people jacknifed into the concrete pad in the back. We liked the holes they dug for us because there was tasty things in there, and it was fun to dig in there. Apparently the human woman got tired of us doing that, so she Quikreted over the holes. The fun part is that it wasn't exactly dry when she let us out, and of course, since its new, we had to inspect it. Our feety feets are now immortalized in the quik (but not quik enough) krete!

She put poo on the paver blocks she threw down the other day, so we can't dig those up, might as well have fun with the quikrete, and boy did we ever. There are some Sammy paws, and some Mutatoe paws, and some of my tiny delicate feet and claws... hmm, maybe a trimming wouldn't be half bad.

The human woman is also planning a trip apparently. She should be packing any moment now to "go insane". I think the human man is going too, and he's only packing his one last straw. I really don't know why they picked this time to take a trip, especially when the kitchen sink started leaking all over. Someone is coming out to fix that today, so I guess they'll be leaving on their trip after he fixes the kitchen sink. I hope they remember to leave out enough food for us until they get back.

Human Woman Horka

Apparently the human woman ate something that didn't agree with her, she's been doing the horka in the porcelain water bowl all day.

This made me realize how lucky we huskies are not to have long hair, as we don't have to worry about horka'ing peach activia in our fluff like she does.

As soon as she has recovered (we have her on a bland diet no matter how much she whines) I'll be back to post more.

Meeshka

Meeshka's Big Adventure

Ok, it wasn't such a big adventure, I simply went to the vet and got poked, prodded, and abused.

It was fun (up until the poking and prodding) prancing out of the house while the gimpies screamed with jealousy from inside the house. Hey, they had their turns, so its only right that I get a chance to be chauffeured in my luxurious 4-runner, which I left in a very fluffy state.

I really do like the new clinic, all the interesting smells, and the owners have stupidly left a whole box of rawhide treats well within my reach. The human woman is wise to my exploits and pulled me away in time to save them from me.

I didn't get a chance to meet the stuffed lab dog that kicked Loki's ample ass, there was another dog that thought it was real and was barking at it, so I figured I wouldn't go over and destuff it in front of everyone. I did get to see another husky, who was certainly NOT breed standard by any stretch of the imagination, I'm guessing a pet store model. His owners had been basking in the admiration of the other humans until I sauntered into the place with my perfect fluffiness, and everyone literally ran over to me and told me how beautiful and fluffy I was. I allowed them to pet me, and even french kissed one woman, who seemed a bit shocked at how quick such a fluffy beauty such as myself could be.

Oddly enough they didn't have my own private exam room ready (an oversight on the vet place's part I'm sure) so we had to wait a bit for my exam. While all of the other dogs pulled and barked and jumped around and caused a ruckus, I simply lay down at the human woman's feet, crossed my little dainty front paws and watched all of the chaos and laughed to myself. What morons. I was so stylish in my blue harness and everyone watched me with adoration.

When it was my turn, they took me into a room and that's where the usual horrible things happened. I screamed really loud when they tried to put that nasty thermometer in my butt. I mean come on, that's just not right, but at least I was in a private room and nobody could see it happen, but I made sure that everyone KNEW that I was being tortured.

Apparently I'm going to have to get my teeth cleaned. They haven't been as white as they should be and some are giving me some issues. I don't know why I just can't wear those cool teeth whitening strips I see on tv, but apparently they'll have to knock me out and clean them for that deep down clean. I also heard the human woman mention something to the effect of "while she's out, clip her toenails". Um... excuse me? So, yes, there is apparently a plot to rid me of my lethal weapons when I can't protest.

Before they can clean my teeth and steal my weapons they had to take some blood from me, so I got to go with the vet tech person. I really didn't want to leave, but since she insisted, I left with her... then proceeded to introduce myself to every dog in every exam room, inspect all of their equipment, jump on tables that apparently held important things, and generally was a wonderful pest. My humans later said that all they could hear was "Meeshka, no, Meeshka leave that alone, Meeshka over here, no Meeshka, MEESHKA" while I was gone.

When I returned, I tried to leave, thinking all of that horrible stuff was over with, but no... I had to get my shots and that crap sprayed up my nose. I hate the stuff in the nose, didn't even feel the shots through all of my fluffy, but the nose thing! Like last year, I turned my head at the last minute but this time the human man got it right in the face. hehehe! They brought another one in and got me though.

While the human man paid the bill, I relaxed outside in the shade. Please note that in order to be a fashion model, you must be able to strike the same pose no matter what the location. This time I opted for a minor variation of the paw crossing, but nailed the behind the shoulder, slightly amused look once again.

Oh, I guess for some reason I need to mention that I weighed in at a very svelte 71 lbs. For some reason the humans gasped at this number and mentioned something about a diet again. I have noticed that my food portions have shrunk again. I guess I'll just have to steal some of the Mutatoe's food if they get serious about this diet thing. If anyone needs to lose some weight off his ample ass, its the Mutatoe.

Meeshka

Human (Woman) Rights Day

Apparently the humans have declared this day their “rights” day. Um, hello? You have opposable thumbs, you can drive cars, you can go into grocery stores without being chased out, and you want RIGHTS?

FINE, so I sat down after my nap and came up with the Human (Woman) Bill of Rights. It goes something like this:

You have the right to curl up into a tiny ball so that we can stretch out and take up most of the bed.
You have the right to get up at 5:30 am and let us out and feed us breakfast.
You have the right to towel us off if we’re wet and muddy
You have the right to work hard so you can buy us the best dog food, which we’ll snub and demand something better.
You have the right to scratch my belly. No, I mean right now, scratch it, I have an itch.
You have the right to stand at the door and open it when I demand to come in, then out, then in, then out, then in... etc.
You have the right to fill my water bowl with fresh clean water after I’ve washed my dainty feet in it.
You have the right to feed me oyster crackers at bed time.
You have the right to be clawed... often... for no reason... be happy about that!
You have the right to have me breathe on your face with my dog food breath in the morning just because I want to, and because you are hogging the pillow.
You have the right to use me as a foot warmer, as long as you scratch my belly with your toes.
You have the right to step in a nice cold pile of yick in the morning if I’ve horka’d sometime during the night.
You have the right to consume mass quantities of my dog hair in your food
You have the right to feed my your table scraps, you just don’t choose to exercise that right and I think you should take advantage of it more.
You have the right to brag that you have the fluffiest, sweetest, most adorable husky in the land... oh yeah and those other two

So humans, you do have a lot of rights, so SHUT UP and scratch my belly.

Meeshka

Happy Human Woman's Day

Ok, so officially its called "mother's day", but the human woman will have to do.

We tried to get the celebration off to an early (day early) start by surprising the human woman with a gift, but she spoiled our surprise by catching Loki with the gift in his mouth. Oh sure, she didn't seem very surprised that he had somehow managed to ooze himself between the "Husky proof" fencing she spent hours putting up to keep us from getting behind the shed, nor was she overly thrilled with having to climb over the fence in a bath robe at 8 am in the morning in the rain (note to readers: the human woman wears sleepy pants EXCEPT when she's sleeping... yeah I know). She also didn't seem very pleased to have to wrestle the dead bird out of Loki's jaws and toss it over the fence (some people are never happy with their gifts) or lifting the Mutatoe's ample ass back over the fence when he somehow couldn't get back over it.

Ok, fine, so that didn't go over as planned. Sam tried his paws at spending some quality time with the human woman when they took him to the vet for his annual shots. Oh sure, we didn't scream and complain in our crates when they took Spineless Bionic Hip puppy out the door, we behaved very well.

Sammy was very nice and shared a lot of his fluff with the human woman, as much as possible on the ride there and back again. She seemed very pleased to have wet husky fur embedded in places she never thought it could embed. I guess you can say that we gave the gift that keeps on giving, as she was still pulling it out of her mouth when they left to run other errands.

After they got back from the errands, we decided once again that we would try to get her another gift, and sure enough, the bird gods answered our prayers and plopped another flightless wonder right in our laps (if dogs had laps). Once again, she didn't seem too keen about the bird (she probably already has one), and this one went over the fence as well.

I'm thinking that after all that work and planning, I'll just get the credit card and order some stupid flowers next year.

(By the way: Sam was not fooled by the big stuffed Lab at the vet office. I'm going next week, so I'll let you know how long it takes me to destuff that thing)

Proper Grub Clean Up Protocol

After one digs for grubs, especially when its raining, its very important to make sure that your delicate little feet are clean.

My humans are very accommodating, and provide me with my very own delicate feet bath in the kitchen. Of course, for some reason the Mutatoe thinks that its his water bowl, but what does he know.

Once I'm done digging for my snacks, I simply saunter up the stairs and wash my feet off in my bath, then walk around on the carpet until they are dry. Its very handy and I suggest that every pup (and girl-girl) ask their human for their own foot bath.



Meeshka

The Fearless Mutatoe

Yesterday the sneaky humans herded Sam and I to our crates, tried to bribe us with stuffed kongs so we wouldn't notice them taking the Mutatoe out on his harness and leash. We were not fooled at all, and did our best to let them know that we were not at all pleased with being left at home while Mutatoe got to go someplace. We made sure to scream and howl pitifully until we heard their truck drive away. None of the neighbors even bothered to come save us even though we could be heard outside.

After what seemed like forever, the Mutatoe and humans came back, with Mutatoe smelling like the vet place. Oh, ok. I thought he was going someplace fun and exciting. He was very excited about his trip to the vet, where the humans held him down, stuck stuff up his butt, poked him with needles and squirted fluid in his nose (yeah, sounds like a hoot, doesn't it?) The exciting part was the fight that he got into while at the vet.

From what the Mutatoe said, there was this really stuck up black Labrador standing in the waiting room. Mutatoe said that he cautiously approached the Lab, wagging his tail in greeting and sniffed the Lab's privates in the universal doggie shaking of hands, but the Lab didn't have any parts down there! He said that the lack of parts really threw him off, so he postured and tried to dominate the Lab by putting his head on the Lab's neck, but the Lab started moving after him and made this strange "woof" noise throwing his voice to make it sound like the human man actually made the noise. Mutatoe told us that the Lab was challenging him to a fight so he play bowed the Lab and kicked his butt to make it known that he was not a Mutatoe to be pushed around. Everyone in the waiting room thought the fight was really funny, and the humans had to pull him off this slathering Hell beast and drag him to an exam room.

Sounds pretty impressive, I had to say that for once I found a minuscule bit of respect for the Mutatoe for standing up to this apparent Lab bully.

Yeah, that's until I heard the human woman talking on the phone to one of her human friends. Apparently here's the whole story:
What a dork.

Meeshka

New HULA Member: Flurry

Flurry is quite the overachiever. She came from an abused past, humans weren't very nice to her at all, and on top of that, she had some horrible skin issues and she LOST HER FLUFF!!!

Lucky for her, she found a nice gullible human to take her in, and along with her new brother Aja, they are well on their way to driving their human woman to insanity at speeds too fast to even record.

I am very impressed with her skills, seeing how she was able to infiltrate the household pretending to be a cute, cuddly, non fluffy husky with absolutely no bad manners at all. Its this tactic that works very well for new HULA undercover operatives: act all cute and well behaved for the first few weeks to months and then spring into action.

Here is the evidence of Flurry's hard work and covert operations:

While her human woman was off ignoring her (and not spoon feeding her tasty treats or scratching her), Flurry helped herself to a very tasty lightbulb. Not just your average lightbulb, but one of those new energy efficient "green" lightbulbs that contain just a touch of mercury (which we all know that wasting energy is far worse than contaminating the ground water with mercury after millions of people start throwing these things into landfills... but I digress). This unselfish potentially dangerous act (eating glass AND mercury laden glass at that) caused Flurry's human woman to become unglued and freak out for no real reason, call her vet and whip out an e-mail to the human group she spends all of her time with instead of making sure that her sweet puppy was not sitting around chewing mercury laden glass products.

Not to be outdone, Flurry waited an entire day before striking again. This time, the human woman claims to have only been away from her for mere seconds, allowing our intrepid HULA operative to destroy home furnishings. Flurry's human woman readily admits that she should have kept a closer eye on our little now fluffy innocent husky, and that she should have never left the blanket on the floor at eating level, placing blame on herself rather than sweet, innocent Flurry (shown below admiring her handy work).

Congrats to you Flurry, and Welcome to the HULA Hoop.

Meeshka

True Story

Steps to insanity

The human woman came home at our lunch and stayed home because she didn’t feel good. Therefore:

We stood out in the rain and dug big, deep, muddy holes for grubs.

We ran inside all the way up the stairs, into the kitchen, out of the kitchen, down the hall, and jumped on the bed with muddy feet because she forgot to close the door to the back room so we couldn’t get into the house before she wiped out paws. By the time she caught up to us, our feet were clean and we were dry thanks to the bed.

She tried to nap but spent most of the time swiping out bits of mud and wet hair from the covers and complaining.

We went back outside and did the same thing (she never learns and she’s more forgetful when she doesn’t feel good), except this time I bathed my feet in the water bowl then chased the Mutatoe around the house so now there are wet, muddy prints all over (hey, she wanted white walls).

She went upstairs to get our heartworm pills and found Loki laying in his crate looking extremely guilty and trying to cover a blue potholder with his ample ass. She got it out and gave him an oyster cracker, then had to give me one because I caught her giving him one, then Sam came up and then we all got another one because we saw that Sam got one...

So, a productive day all around.

Meeshka
(clean feet are happy feet)

Its about time

Normally I only post once a day because of my busy napping schedule, but I had to tell everyone the good news.

The human woman came home smelling like BBQ Ribs (which made me even more mad than before) but she was waving the iPhone at me telling me to LOOK LOOK!!! She was so excited that I forgot that I was mad at her and glanced at the picture she had taken while she was out getting tasty BBQ rib smells on her and not bringing any leftovers.

Yes, its true, and here is the proof:


I hope you can read it because it clearly reads that there is a store that is selling Bacon Shoes!!! YES!!!! Its about time too! Now dogs will not only be expected to, but actually encouraged to eat shoes! I can curl right up in the closet and snack on some tasty bacon shoes. I'm very excited about this.

The look is for:

DSC02882
Originally uploaded by Shmoomeema

The shirt I had to wear last night when the thunderstorm came through and I was panting and clawing the humans.

Being made to sleep in the guest room with the human woman because of the panting and clawing while wearing the shirt and that room DOESN'T HAVE AN AIR VENT!

Making my human woman feel bad about putting me in a shirt and denying me my precious air vent.

For the human woman leaving for hours this morning and then coming home smelling of strange dogs and not taking me along.

Just to show her, I'm digging up all of the grubs and the precious little grassy grass she's so lovingly cultivated.

Meeshka
(not a real happy camper today)

Bountiful Grub Season

Its been a most bountiful crop of grubs this season. I think the humans’ attempt to grow grass is actually bringing in more of them, so we are rethinking our plans of total grass annihilation to perhaps allow for some grass growth in order to stimulate the grub population.

Speaking of grass, the back shed should be sprouting a most wonderful collect of grass soon, as we had some pretty nasty rains the past few days (making grub digging so easy, even the spineless bionic hip puppy could dig and enjoy his harvest). Most of the seed undoubtedly washed off into the shed (who puts a shed at the bottom of a hill anyway?) so I’ll be seeing the human woman with a machete trying to hack her way through the grass in order to get the lawn mower out.

Speaking of lawn mowers, its about time she gets off her lazy butt and mows the clumps of grass that is out there. All of my favorite poo spots are literally a forest of grass and its to the length that tickles my delicate po-po when I do my business. I hate being tickled when I’m concentrating on my balance, form and proper placement of poo.

Ok, nearly bed time. The human woman is exhausted from trying to keep up with covering our grub holes as soon as we make them. We’ve made it into a competition to see who can dig up the most grubs and whether some of our more well placed holes will cause her an injury.

Meeshka

New HULA Member: Sky

Dear Meeshka,

My name is Sky.

I am The Prettiest Dog You Have Ever Seen. I know this because everyone keeps telling me so (and do not say you thought huskys were bigger and fluffier. Thin is in; don't you know that?). Firstly, I would like to apologise for the lateness of my application. My humans (hereafter know as Blondie and The Grump) are a bit slow on the uptake and have only just figured out this whole blogging thing and as you know we are infuriatingly dependent on their opposable thumbs...

So, I thought you might like to hear about some of the things I have been up to:

1.Demonstrating Disruptive Behaviour

Hmmm....so much to choose from. Well, once when The Grump was being walked by me through some woods near a cricket pitch (for my American friends, cricket is a bit like baseball only even more stupid). Some humans were knocking a ball around and my humans like it when I steal balls. I know this because every time I steal a ball from another dog in the park they give me a treat when I give it back to them. It's a great way of getting treats. So, the ball gets knocked in my direction and I steal it. I run off with it and I woo so everyone can see how clever I've been stealing the ball. I know The Grump was particularly pleased because he gave me a treat when I gave it to him. Then he throws it back to the other humans but of course I am far superior to any human and I get to it first and steal it again. The Grump was really pleased with me then. Although he went quite red, which was a bit odd.

2.Causing the humans to freak out for no reason

Oh yeah, I'm good at this. When it was Blondie's birthday last year they invited a stupid green dog to the party (see photo of me and the stupid green dog).


I did not like this dog because he stared a lot and would not play with me but then I discovered he was full of Good Stuff to Eat. Blondie and The Grump told everyone at the party to make sure that I did not get any of the Good Stuff to Eat. But my humans' friends are not used to my cunningness and they do not know how good I am at getting hold of Good Stuff to Eat. So I eat a bunch of Good Stuff to Eat. The next day I am not feeling so good. “Sky, would you like some breakfast?” No. “Sky, would you like a walk?” No. “Sky, would you like to sit up and pretend you're alive?” No. Blondie and The Grump were quite concerned by now and decided I needed a trip to the vets. The very, very expensive weekend emergency vets. The Grump had to carry me out to the car but when I got in the car I perked up a bit. Hey, it's quite fun going for a nice Sunday drive. When we got to the vets the nurses made a big fuss of me because I am The Prettiest Dog They Had Ever Seen. Yeah, it's quite nice being made a fuss of; I perked up some more. By the time I went in to see the very, very expensive weekend emergency vet I was a bundle of chirpy energy. She also told me that I was The Prettiest Dog She Had Ever Seen (yeah, yeah, I know) and gave Blondie and The Grump a sachet of stuff to put in my water (I didn't drink it) and some tins of stuff to eat (I didn't eat them) and asked them for £130, thank you very much. Blondie and The Grump think twice before taking me to the very, very expensive emergency vets these days.

3.Destroy Something

Sometimes in the cause of huskiness a husky gets a wee bit dirty. This is normal and perfectly acceptable. I like to think it sets off my coat. Blondie and The Grump don't see it this way and they try and deploy the evil hose against me. I do not like the hose. Now, I want to make it perfectly clear that I am not afraid of the hose, I just don't like it. I don't like it anywhere near me. When it comes out I disappear. Last summer they bought a thing that goes on the hose they call a sprinkler. I quickly realised that if the hose is the devil, the sprinkler is the devil's spawn. So I killed it. Once, I also ate Bondie's mascara which made my face look really pretty but that's another story...

4.Human Behaviour Modification

Where to begin? Blondie and The Grump used to go wherever they liked and see whoever they liked. That was until they got me. Now they only go to pubs that let dogs in and only see their friends who don't mind seeing me too. But I guess my greatest triumph was in getting them to sell their flat and buy a house, with a garden, by a park; just so they could get me. Yeah, that was pretty cool.

5.Humans Dress You Up

Blondie thought that because I am Siberian in origin I might appreciate the stupid Russian-esque hat she bought on her Skiing holiday. I attach a photo in evidence (I have spared you Blondie's face; she is not The Prettiest Human You Have Ever Seen). I think my face says it all.

6.Love of Kleenex

Kleenex must be found and destroyed. In fact, I'm pretty egalitarian in my shredding activities; kleenex, paper, cardboard...it's all good. Please see photo of me with some tissue paper packaging.








Whilst it is not a requirement of HULA membership I thought you might like to know that I also have a gimpy-mutatoed-step-brother (see photo of Frank, attached. The least said about him the better).



Meeshka – I feel your pain.

Yours, in huskiness

Sk

An Award?

Meeshka Perky
Originally uploaded by Shmoomeema

I'm so honored! The five Happy Hounds have nominated me for the Dogs with Blogs Awesome Blog award!

I'm speechless! Well, ok, I'm not totally speechless, especially when I clawed my human woman to get her to log in and vote for me. I mean, come on, its the least she can do since I do all the work on the blog. Thing was, she couldn't remember her login and password. Are you kidding me? I finally get nominated (without going up and doing it myself under a fake name) and she can't even vote for me?

Luckily Opy was on call and hacked into the forum and got me a new user name and password that I put into my iPhone for safe keeping. Please go up and vote for me, your soon to be Queen of the world and I will make it worth your while in livergreat once we take over from the mindless (and password forgetting) humans.

Speaking of iPhone, I got a little package in the mail the other day and have been meaning to blog all about it. Yes, its the really cool, totally stylish and HULA brand iPhone pouch that the Ao4 clawed their human woman to make for me. I haven't had time to get a picture of me sniffing their fur mail to me (Ammy, I know how you feel, and really, I think you should claw the door and get out and get muddy at least once). Once again, I've been at the whims of the human woman who claims that she's got more important things to do than take pictures of me modeling my new iPhone bag. Are ya kidding me?

Oh, you don't have any time to take pictures of me, but you certainly have time to buy yet ANOTHER stupid bag... yes, she bought another bag and not one of the cool ones that the Ao4's human makes, which are totally cool bags, no she didn't buy one of those, something about no messenger bag types in the selections and since she has no shoulders (seriously, she has a neck and arms, but its like all one piece, you think I cartoon her funny, really, she has no shoulders) but if the Ao4 human WERE to create a cool messenger bag with a really long strap, she would most certainly buy one... because she doesn't have enough bags already.

On top of which, she also has no time because she was outside in this horrible heat (yes, its like 100,000 degrees in Merryland today) watering the grass with a hose. Then Spineless Bionic Hip puppy Sam decided it would be great fun to chase the water, so he got wet, then the human woman decided that it would be funny to squirt the Mutatoe, but he ran screaming like a little girl dog... then she set her sights on me and got my fluffiness all wet! The nerve of her. But she's got a bit of a surprise when she goes to bed, as I sopped the water off of me by laying on her pillow.

Meeshka

Resume for Martha Stewart

Ms. Stewart recently lost her beloved Chow Paw Paw. She was so distraught, she vacationed in the Bahamas. Hey, every human has their own way of grieving, and frankly a trip to the Bahamas would be a nice change of pace for me... which is why I’m submitting my resume to be the replacement dog for Ms. Stewart.

Some of you may ask yourself... Martha Stewart’s dog? Yes, because Ms. Stewart really knows how to treat a dog. What with her perfectly decorated house, her ability to whip up a nice home made meal for her pups on a whim and using only the finest of ingredients, and the fact that her pups are known to either travel with her, or get a babysitter while she’s gone means cushy city for me! Plenty of bling on the collar and tons of room to run and dig up grubs, I’m all for it.

Ms. Stewart is use to fluffy dogs, and it appears that Paw Paw was indeed very fluffy (but not as fluffy as I) and I’m sure she doesn’t complain about the fluff being shed all over her expensive furnishings (unless she’s screaming at the housekeeper to “do” something about it), so I’m pretty sure that I could live the cush life there at Castle Stewart and fit in just fine.

Besides, you don’t see my human woman making decorative wreaths with my fluff and selling knock-offs of them at outrageous prices at Walmart. If she did, then I would have my own spa, masseuse, and cook here at Castle Meeshka.

So, Ms. Stewart, if you happen to be reading, I’ll be waiting for your phone call. I’m very good at comforting you in this time of grief (as long as you are slathered in livergreat).

Meeshka

Waiting for Grubs

Waiting for Grubs
Originally uploaded by Shmoomeema

They are out there. I dig for them, I eat them. Mutatoe digs for them, I steal them. When I am queen, the grubs shall leave the ground on their own and throw themselves into my mouth.

For I command them.

Meeshka

Another Hobby

Yeah, I'm guessing this one wouldn't be a good hobby to have if you own huskies.

Meeshka

Hobbies

I was reading Poppy's blog about the adventures of scrapbooking. Poppy looks very comfortable on the little table bed, supervising the placement of pictures in the scrapbook.

It made me think of two things:

1.) Why don't I have a bed on the table where I can supervise artsy craftsy things and the eating of food.
2.) Why doesn't my human woman do any scrapbooking.


Yeah, I guess that's why she doesn't do that kind of thing.

Meeshka

It Was the Biscuit

What with the mutatoe’s recent stomach issues, the human woman has been searching for a cookie that he can eat without sending him to the emergency vet and spending thousands of dollars. I say just feed us oyster crackers, as they are tasty and don’t upset our stomachs, but no, she wants “dog” biscuits. Eesh.

So, yesterday we got some kind of holistic peanut butter cookie that was home-made (at least that’s what the package claimed) with the loving hands of grandmother types who only use home grown products such as monosodium glutomate, plucked from their back yards.

At about 11:30 pm, my stomach began to rumble. Then it began to roll. Then it began to gurgle, and it was at this point that I began tap dancing on the human woman’s head to get the point across that if she didn’t get up immediately and let me outside, she would have a lovely mess to clean up. She wasn’t AS quick as I had hoped, but I made it outside in time.

12:30 am, a few woos and one claw and outside I was again.

1:30 am, well, you get the point, and it was around that time that she shoved a pepto bismol tab down my throat and told me to go back to sleep. Nice, eh? Great sympathy for the gastro-intestinal issues that SHE gave me. Regardless of the commercials that say that pepto is fast acting, I continued to wake her up every hour so I could explode in the yard. She had the gall to complain this morning about being tired. Um, how about tired and have liquid shoot out of your butt in the back yard, how about that for inconvenient???

I had hoped to blog today about the really cool thing that I got in the mail and wasn’t quickly scooped up by the human woman who refuses to give it back to me, but that will have to wait until later.

In the meantime, just to show you what I have to put up with, the human woman has decided that the KC and the Sunshine Band song “Get Down Tonight” was written about a human telling a husky to get off the bed, as the lyrics go something like this:

Get down
Get down
Get down
Get down
Get down tonight Baby
Woo Woo Woo WOOOOOOOO

I’m assuming that the husky’s name is Baby, and yes, I can see why the human woman might think this was about a husky owner, as it does take approximately 5 attempts to get us to do anything, and then we have to complain back.

Meeshka
(got a pepcid with the Mutatoe for breakfast, feeling much better, although I do poot when I run up the stairs)

My Afternoon

5 pm the human woman gets home, lets us out of our nap crates, we go outside to pee and sniff the grass.

5:30 pm I claw the human woman and demand my food. She does my bidding but doesn’t feed me nearly enough to maintain my average fluffiness. I stomp my feet and demand more, she ignores me, I claw her for good measure.

5:35 pm The human man gets home, I give him a welcome home claw, explain that the human woman has forgotten to feed us, he is not fooled.

6 pm I demand to go outside
6:01 pm I demand to be let back inside
6:02 pm I demand to go outside
6:03 pm I demand to be let back inside
6:04 pm I demand to go outside, I am ignored, I pout

6:30 pm I convince spineless bionic hip puppy and the mutatoe to ask to go outside, then refuse to join them.

6:35 pm I look very cute on the dog bed in the living room, then when the human woman comes to pet me, I skitter away, riccochet off the bed a few times, then run to my crate and refuse to come out.

6:37 pm I demand to go out by racing down the stairs and throwing myself at the back door, human woman lets me out, then watches me run once around the yard. Mutatoe waits for me to try to get back inside so he can attack me, I send Spineless bionic hip puppy Sam as bait, then saunter to the back door when he’s being attacked. I refuse to go inside though.

6:38 pm Spineless bionic hip pup Sam beats on the back door to be let in.

6:39 pm Mutatoe beats on the door to be let in

6:40 pm I scream at the back door to be let in, human woman mutters something about not understanding how she can gain weight with all the exercise she gets.

6:41 pm I throw myself down in front of the entryway and heave a tremendous sigh that marks the beginning of my pre-bed time nap.

The Grass is Growing!

Of course, not where the humans want it to grow.

Chin Rest

Meeshka lounge
Originally uploaded by Shmoomeema

The one thing I like about my deck is the lovely chin rest that's built into the entire deck. No matter where the action is, I can lay down and rest my chin and catch all of the excitement of the yard.

I've been doing some major power napping today. Its a beautiful day, the human woman has decided to do nothing productive today, so its boring following her around, only to have her do nothing. No fun paint to get into, no piles of junk to steal things from, no nothing. She hasn't even gone out into the yard to rake for us to get into the way, or cut up tasty sticks for us to steal. She's very boring.

I've been checking out some other blogs and I see that their humans actually take them places, include them in the family outings. Mine don't. We just stay here in our house, don't go anywhere exciting at all. Maybe the vet, that sucks. Not my idea of getting out of the house.

We are so abused, can someone send us a bus ticket so we can see some sights?

Meeshka
(excitement-ville)

I have gas

Ok, this isn’t an April Fool’s thing, I really do have gas. Let out a big ol fart while the humans were standing in the kitchen and they stopped talking (a new attention getting method for those of you taking notes) and stared at me. Just to prove my point, I farted again.

I don’t know why I have gas, as I’m apparently being starved to death with a combination of the new Canidae food and the bland food that Mutatoe had to eat (but we didn’t, so I have no idea why we’re getting it), so you would think that my stomach would be full of bland things and not able to generate energy let alone gas, but for some reason... I’m gaseous.

To change the subject, the humans are once again (futile I know, but they are stubborn) trying to grow grass in my back yard. Its fun watching the human woman spread the seed all over the barren moon-like ground that’s full of holes. We laugh at her and roll in the grass seed. I hope that I’ll sprout a nice lawn in my fur and prove to her that she can grow grass everywhere but the back yard.

Of course you are suppose to water after you throw down grass (I read that on the bag, apparently the human woman either can’t read or she’s lazy... we all know the answer to that one), but they never water after they throw the grass seed around. They expect it to rain and self water, which is another reason why we don’t have grass back there. The main reason being that the three of us dig it all up the moment it sprouts, but that’s neither here nor there, the other reason is that when it does rain it washes the seeds to the back of the yard and we usually get a nice fertile lawn in the shed back there.

So, its business as usual around here. Human woman doing stupid things, we nap.

Meeshka

April Fools

You know, when the human woman suggested pasting my head on the body of a shaved cat, I seriously didn't think anyone would fall for it, but apparently some of you have. I don't know whether to be proud that all of you believe my every word no matter what I say, or be a little concerned that you can't tell that my head was pasted onto the body of a shaved cat.

April Fools everyone, I assure you that I would never allow the humans to shave me no matter what, and that I'm as fluffy as ever, no skin problems whatsoever.

Meeshka

Skin Issues

Yeah, I know I haven't blogged in a few days and all, but I started having skin issues. The human woman thinks its from that new food that all her human friends rant and rave about how much their dogs love it and it does such a good thing for their coats and fluffiness.

So, you would think that with all of my fluffiness that it would make me even more fluffier, but nooooo, oh nooooo.

Apparently, for some reason I appear to have some sort of horrible allergy to one of the ingredients and I started itching, and itching, and I couldn't stop itching and it got worse and worse and before the humans could figure out what was wrong... yep, you guessed it. Shaved.

Ya know, I have to admit that I kinda like that cool breeze on those nether regions.

Meeshka

New HULA Member: Shonee

Although Dusty Doodles has achieved HULA status, his partner in Huskyness, Ms. Shonee has proven to be a mistress of manipulation.

Their human woman contacted my human woman one afternoon totally frantic because Shonee was crying in pain. The poor thing would shriek the husky death scream seemingly randomly and for no reason their human woman could figure out.

She had done this on another occasion, which meant a trip to the vet and large amounts of money spent to find... absolutely nothing wrong with her. Their human woman was beside herself, wondering if this was something horrible wrong with poor Shonee. They checked her all over and couldn't figure out where it could possibly hurt.

While her human was eating a steak, Ms. Shonee let fly with a heart wrenching cry again, which made her human hand over the steak she had been eating. This seemed to help the pain somewhat, but she still seemed very restless and not comfortable. Just in case, the humans packed her up in their car and took her for a 12 mile drive to get her a corn dog. She ate the corn dog upon their return home, then curled up in a ball and went to sleep.

It was then that her humans realized that the last time this had happened, they had taken one of their other dogs to the vet. Wait a minute! Could it be that Shonee knew that another dog got special attention and had figured out a devious but brilliant way to not only get steak, but also a car ride to get a corn dog?

Yep, you guessed it. Our wonderful HULA operative Shonee has found the perfect way to manipulate her humans to get whatever she wants.

Welcome to the HULA Hoop Shonee. You have my utmost admiration

Meeshka

Looking fluffy and nonchalant

Looking fluffy and nonchalant
Originally uploaded by Shmoomeema

Its a nice day today and I've managed to spend a lot of time outside.

Not too hot, not too cold (like there is such a thing). The birds are singing and landing in the yard, and flying off before I can catch them. The squirrels are staying in the trees, the Mutatoe is leaving me along, and so is Sam.

This is pretty nice actually, lounging, nothing to do, no worries, no cares.
Its great being a dog.

Meeshka

The Loss of a HULA Member

Run free sweet Sasha, across the Rainbow Bridge